Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

Ahhhh. Finally back in Georgia in my own warm, fluffy bed. No post last night as I was at home in Madison County with (most) of my wonderful family for dinner, the Madco BOE meeting at which Mel was recognized (they also mentioned the top 10 Bus Rodeo contestants. Fo' real. I seriously can not make this stuff up). We spent the rest of the evening wrapping presents and relaxing together, which was really nice, and I headed back into Athens this morning to meet with Whit, one of my fantastic friends and art teacher extraordinaire, before babysitting the SICK Rafal boys...grrrrrr. I love that family and I am thankful to know that I've been a help to them (Sandi mentioned today how much she's going to miss me next semester) but I get really frustrated with dealing with sick kids, a special needs pre-teem going through puberty (yeahhhh, you can imagine), and the host of other challenges my job brings. All in all, I know it's taught me a lot and will bring me where I need to be in the future, but dangggg if it doesn't get frustrating sometimes. My last day is tomorrow. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....
Anyway, the rest of my night was spent packing and hanging with my sister Maribel and her BF Stephen watching psyc and playing Beatles Rock Band. Which brings me up to now....

While I know it's really good for me to talk about all of my experiences, challenges, joys etc of each day, I hope that this blog isn't turning into just a report of everything that happens to me. I really want this to be a way for me to "dig deeper" as my HS lit teacher Ms. T would say. I've been thinking about a couple of different post topics, but I'll save those for later times when I don't have too much to talk about (which will probably be never. Have you met me?)


Anyway, the thing on my mind right now is packing up my house. But not really the packing aspect. I know that doesn't make any sense at all, but I'll elaborate. First, I'm feeling overwhelmed with this whole thing. Picking up and moving somewhere, be it 30 minutes away or 2 states, is always stressful but I really like to have somewhere that I can feel comfortable and happy, surrounded by pictures and collages and all the reminders of the great things I've gotten to experience. I know that I'm going to have to take down all this stuff and am not sure what to do with it all once I get it home. Do I get re-settled at "home" home, set up all my pictures, and really move back to D'ville? I think this is probably the best, most soul-satisfying option because I really can't imagine myself not having anywhere to call my own.


But in addition to this stress of packing and deciding where everything needs to go, comes the challenge of my time and the relationships I cherish. My mom and youngest sister were hoping that I would be home-home for good once the break started for me and I want to be back in Madco with everyone too, but I also feel like I have to take care of all of this moving/packing before I can really relax. Of course when they ask me to come home and I say no, I feel guilty that I should be spending as much time with them as possible, but then I also havvvvvvve to get everything done and would much rather be able to relax completely once I am home. It's a tricky situation and hopefully I can get everything else packed up fast so that I can go home and be with my family! :)

Dreaming of A White Christmas (and Finding Where I Fit With The Snow!)

Today I got to spend a lot of time out and about in Winston. I started off the morning with a brunch visit with my cousin Jonathan, his wife Miho, their lovely baby Emi-Chan, and my great aunt Deanna who I'll be staying with while I'm interning in the spring. It was nice to catch up since our last visit over the summer and Emi is so adorable (she's learning to walk and talk!). I got back to Steph's house, we chilled and watched Nickelodean, and then headed out to go shopping and sightseeing with my Aunt Patti. We did a driving tour of the Reynolda House (an art museum, shops, and gorgeous gardens that I actually thought about interning at), the Graylyn (another tobacco estate turned event venue/hotel), and capped off our afternoon at SECCA. The gate wasn't closed, so we actually drove up and it is absolutely gorgeous. It was kind of surreal seeing the place I'll be spending (most of) the next 4 months that I had previously only seen pictures of. There is the main building, a very historic tobacco plantation, and also a really modern auditorium that my Aunt Patti has attended lots of events at. She's really involved with many organizations up here and is already talking about volunteer opportunities for Earth Day and their film festival as well, which should be a lot of fun. I'll just have to see how it fits with all my other things with SECCA. :) 

After our tour, we came home, ate a delicious dinner, and then started decorating the Christmas tree and mantlepiece! Aaaaand, then it started SNOWING! Of course this Georgia girl who hadn't seen any snow since March (on my birthday!) was ecstatic. My aunt just shook her head about how excited I was about what she called "sleet," but it was plenty snowy enough for me to take pictures of my GA license plate with snow all over it. I even made a snowball to throw at Steph for good measure because I don't know when the next time I'll see snow will be, although probably not too far in the future....Steph and I finished out the evening by a cozy fire, drinking tea, Facebooking, and watching Harry Potter and Leap Year and now I'm chilling in a nice warm bed trying to get "deep" about my whole experience in Winston-Salem so far...

I don't know if it's because it's the Christmas season, Steph's here, or having WS folks to show me around but I really feel at home here. It may also be because I know that I'm getting ready to head back to my realllll home soon but I can definitely see myself fitting in up here, at least for the duration of my internship. Thinking about all this reminds me of a few things...

First, something that Parker Palmer wrote in "Let Your Life Speak" (you should read it if you haven't! It's life changing. Seriously). He speaks about instances in life where you feel lead to something, be it an experience, a job, a relationship, or any other thing, for certain unexplainable reasons. You just can't not do it. I kind of feel like SECCA may be that experience for me. Everyday I'm continually amazing at how I'm blessed with everything just falling into place as it should. Although I applied to many other internships (or at least it felt like a ton), this is really the only one that worked out. When asked the question earlier today by Jonathan "Why SECCA? Why Winston?" I really didn't have an answer. Some of it had to do with my career focus in fine arts because there's a large art community up here. And some of it hinged on the fact that I would have family up here to guide me and support me (and generously provide me with a place to stay), but I think ultimately this is something that I couldn't not do.

This post and all my thoughts tonight also remind me of a song that we sing at our Wesley Foundation services with the line "I finally found where I belong." While this "where I belong" may change from year to year, month to month, day to day, and even hour to hour, I trust that God will guide me to the people and places I need to encounter to be made into the person I'm called to be. I know that it's going to take a lot of readjusting to get comfortable living in a different house, state, and city and starting to experience the "real world" outside of normal classes, but I think that this experience here in Winston is going to be one of the most challenging, as well as rewarding, opportunities in my life.

Long Way From Home

Okay, it's been about a week since I've posted, so I'm doing to do a quick update of the past week (fo' real, keeping it short) and then move on to tonight's topic because I'm a bit sleepy...

Sunday, December 5th--Church, Christmas Tree decorating with my family and Aunt Cilla who was down from DC/VA visiting my O and O. :)

Monday--Last day of (undergraduate) classes at UGA FOREVER!!!!

Tuesday--didn't actually do anything academically productive in preparation of finals, but I got to go swimming at the Y with my mama, which definitely brightened my day! I also went grocery shopping and happened to run into a WWII vet who told me it was not only Pearl Harbor Day, but also his birthday. He shared with me about some of his experiences with General Patton during the war, including Normandy and drinking Irish Totties. He was one of those people that you meet once and probably won't ever see again, but they just brighten your day with their energy. :) And of course the Flagline Christmas party was tonight too! <3 you girls!

Wednesday--Reading Day (AKA catch up on everything I should've done before....) Also the first day of Chanukah. Asa (one of the kids I babysit) gave me a golden dreidel and told me about how their family celebrates (including no HW after sundown)

Thursday-FINALS! Marketing at noon and MGMT at 7 (blegggggh). Today was broken up with a nice lunch with my best friend Lisa in 5 Points and some babysitting, before taking the dreaded 3 hour test at night. I celebrated being done by making Lisa her Christmas present, a gigantic collage. :)

Friday--Intern Prep final meeting time/brunch potluck complete with fun youtube vids and donuts and monkayyyy bread made by Lisa. We walked back to my house and exchanged presents. I got some Disney socks to keep my feet warm when I'm interning in NC, some note cards to write everyone, and a picture frame with some great pictures of me and Agent L. :) And Lisa <3'ed her collage almost as much as I loved making it. I took a much needed nap, went swimming with Mama and my sister Maribel,  packed for my trip to NC this weekend and headed out to Bethlehem! (at Tuckston UMC) We put on a live nativity scene and I had a great time being part of such a fun experience for the children and their families. I was especially touched by a conversation with a grandmother and her 2 granddaughters, one of which was only a year and a half old and had been undergoing chemo treatments since she was very young. Watching my mom battle breast cancer, I know how harsh and intimidating treatment can be, but this family was so happy. It was inspiring to see their joy during this season and I pray for healing for the youngest, Piper.

So that brings us up to today.....

This afternoon I left Athens and drove all the way across South Carolina and North Carolina to Winston-Salem! I'm visiting with my fabulous cousin Steph, her mama and dad (my aunt Patti and uncle Ted) and I'll get to see my cousins Jonathan and Miho, their precious baby Emi and my great aunt Deanna (aka grammy dani)  tomorrow morning for breakfast and on Tuesday I'm meeting with Michael, my intern suprevisor at SECCA. :)


The title for this post comes from a song that I was listening too on the way up here today by a band called The Heavy that my fabulous boyfriend "borrowed" from the internet for me. (Shout out to my boo!)


when I'm a long way from home
so much pressure on my bones
I'm such a long way from home
but I'll be back soon


don't tie on the telephone line
you got the words to help me ease up my mind
no one love me like the way that you love me so
I got to tear the phone from the tip of my tongue
cause I know where I'll find you
I know just where you lie
always deep in my heart
you're by my side


I think these lyrics are pretty self explanatory, but it was nice to hear my emotions echoed by the speakers in my car as I left Georgia this morning to learn more about what awaits me in the next 4 months for my internship here in Winston-Salem, NC. It's been really easy to be excited about this opportunity when January was so far in the future, but yesterday as I was packing for this trip, it really hit me: I'm preparing to move 2 states away from everything I've ever known and all the people I love....

I don't know why I got so emotional yesterday (perhaps it was the culmination of finals stress, lack of sleep, and too much sugar from all of the holiday parties) but thankfully Lisa and Nick were there to remind me that the people that I love are only a telephone call or the click of a mouse away. I know that this experience is probably going to be one of the hardest things that I'll ever do, but in the end I think it will be the best. I am given the beautiful opportunity to grow as a professional and a person as I realize who I am outside of Athens, Georgia and get to jump into the professional world while celebrating my passion for fine arts. Saying that it's going to "be tough" to be away from my family, boyfriend, and friends doesn't even begin to cover it, but I know that I have the support and love of all the amazing people in my life to encourage me as I meet these challenges and opportunities.

Sometimes, You Just Have to Laugh :)

Today was a very busy, fun, exciting crazy day with some of my family and closest friends. :) Lisa came out to good ol' Madco (AKA Madison County) with me to enjoy the lovely Comer Christmas parade, some antiquing, and a grand tour (lasting about 10 minutes) of D'ville. After she headed back to Athens, the Montgomery's loaded up our neighbors borrowed truck to go Christmas tree hunting, which was a grand adventure as always and there are plenty of pictures to prove it.  Although all of the trees are always gorgeous, we usually take at least an hour to pick out, decide on, take pictures with, and actually chop down a tree. After all of these "traditions," we finally brought the tree home in the dark, dreary, rainy evening. My amazing dad worked hard to trim the bottom off, get the stand ready, and then we all helped bring the prize tree (that it VERY fat!) inside our living room, where we eventually got started with some of the lights so that we would be able to start right with the rest of the decorating tomorrow.


After allllll of this hustle and bustle, stress in lifting, moving, and situating an 8 and a half foot tree, stringing the lights, and doing everything else, at around 10 this evening I heard a loud crash and screams from my family as "Big Bertha" took a tumble onto the floor. Although we had had a long day and knew that cleaning up would be a chore, instead of grumbling about the water on the floor or worrying about moving the tree immediately outside, we took a step back from the situation and began to laugh at the situation--tree on the floor, Maribel with turkey baster-straw contraption in hand trying to get all of the water out of the stand, and the rest of us dancing crazily to the music playing in the back ground. It's in moments like these that I realize how important it is to not take life to seriously.  I reach a point every once in a while where things are not going so good. Maybe I'm stressed out, agitated, or just generally upset. But inevitably I end up spending time with the people I love and laughing louder and longer than usually. I think it's because I realize, deep down, that these are the moments that I will remember and cherish. Not the tests or projects, not the sorrows of yesterday, not even the way we felt when the Christmas tree first fell. I will instead be reminded of the joyful people in my life and the blessings I've been able to experience with them. Sometimes, you just have to laugh.

Recharge...

So I didn't get a chance to post yesterday because I had a rough evening and ended up going home to "recharge" with some much needed hugs and love from my family. I really don't know why I was so upset by one little event (basically I've been doing a semester long project with an agency mentor and there was a misunderstanding about something in my final case study. I felt like I had let her down, damaged a professional relationship, and misrepresented myself).  I think the main reason I was so emotional was that I  (like the Atkinson side of the family apparently) tend to internalize most of my concerns and stresses. I'm fine about acknowledging the things that stress me out when it comes to school, but I think that I don't allow myself to take the time to recognize the larger things that are actually much more important in the grand scheme of things. I'm am realizing, and reminding myself, that it's completely OK to be scared/concerned/anxious about things and that I don't always have to have everything "together" all the time.

I immediately called my mom after the whole misunderstanding with my agency mentor and in our conversation she reminded me that I really do have a lot of stressful things in my life right now that are OK to talk about and recognize as important. I shrugged it off, saying "I don't have that much, Mom" and she reminded me that although I may not have a ton of papers or projects, I really do have a TON of other things that are huge, much bigger than a single project that will not even matter a year down the line or even a month later for that matter. I'm preparing to move 2 states away in a matter of weeks for an internship in North Carolina, away from my family, friends, boyfriend, professors, and basically everything I've know. I'm graduating in May with a degree, but have absolutely no idea what is in my life plan after that--maybe grad school, hopefully beginning my career, maybe something else. On top of these things, or rather before, I'm trying to find someone to sub-lease my house (I 'm 90% sure I've got someone locked in today though!), packing up ALL my stuff, trying to find out where to put everything, finishing up the semester, and getting ready for the holidays at home with my amazing family.

While I know that all these are good things, it's still a lot to take in.  I know that getting away from the Athens, Georgia that I've always known and trying things out in a completely new city (with family around to guide me) will really test me, but in the end I will be a different, better person because of it. Everyone keeps asking how I'm going to be and how my family is going to be with me living so far away for 4 months. Usually I just respond that I know it's going to be hard for all of us. It's easy to answer that question now, with January and my move in the future, but I honestly don't have any idea of what it will really feel like to make that 5 hour drive away from home.  Like I said before, I am truly thankful for this opportunity to find out who I really am apart from all of my safe, familiar experiences, but I know that it will be a challenge too.

In all of these challenges and good things I know that I have absolutely incredible, amazing, fantastic, indescribably wonderful people that love and trust me. As a dear friend reminded me today when we were talking about all of this, "that's really all that matters." I know that no matter what happens, I have a group of wonderful people in my life that I can call, skype, text, or write to that will encourage me with their love and support. Knowing that I have this amazing "support staff" makes all of the things in front of (and behind) me so much easier. I am truly thankful for all of you. :)

There's No Where You Can Be That Isn't Where You're Meant To Be, It's Easy.

So I, like most of the world, love the Beatles. I've grown up listening to them, got the "1" album for my birthday in 7th grade, woke up on my 17th birthday to my amazing dad singing "Birthday," sang that song to my sisters, mama, and boyfriend on their birthdays, can't listen to "Getting Better" by Paul McCartney without thinking of how strong my mom was during her treatment for breast cancer, and love taking bubble baths with the happy notes of "Love Me Do" blasting in the background.  I pretty much just love the way their music feels. And as much as I love the Beatles, this post is not at all really about their place in my life. It's really about my place in my life.

Today "All You Need is Love" came on an iTunes commercial (YES, Apple, we all know the Beatles are on iTunes now). This one line of the song has always stuck with me and triggered a whole lot of thinking for the rest of the day and on into the evening and I'm going to attempt to get some of it down while it's still somewhat fresh.

 This line of the song has special significance because embracing where I am, rather than worrying about where I should be, is something that I struggle with.  I see some friends immersed in Baptist Collegiate Ministries and the Wesley Foundation, others doing great things with UGA HEROs, my sisters singing up a storm, my dad rocking it out at work, my mom mentoring in Madison County, my boyfriend leading on his campus at Tech, and so many other great things that people in my life are a part of. I am so extremely happy that these incredible that people that I know and love are out there taking care of these issues and needs. However, many times I start to question whether I should be doing the things that they are doing. I begin to wonder....should I be taking a mission trip with the Wesley Foundation? I've never done that before, a lot of my friends have gone, maybe it's the "right" thing to do?  Should I be involved in different student organizations? What are other areas on campus, and other ares of my life, that I need to be a part of? Where could I/should I volunteer in Athens? What else can I be doing to share with others?


And the list goes on....Thankfully during these moments I usually have someone snap me out of my incessant listing and questioning to realize that "there's no where you can be that isn't where you're meant to be." Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE all the opportunities for involvement and self-discovery I already have in my life, I think so much so that I try to find other similar opportunities. But unless I settle into the places that I have so blessedly been brought to and soak up these experiences fully, I will never be able to really and truly contribute of myself.  I know and trust that I'm where I need to be, doing what I need to be, when I need to be there. It's easy.